多謝支持
我地盡力
【眾籌】我地出咗final draft啦！！！！
家樂牌通心粉
2168 回覆
6886 Like
25 Dislike
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push
可否把Siege of Citic (中信圍困)
帶入國際視野?
原因:
1. 畫面明顯表達 "極權 VS 人民"
2. 法理上: Amnesty報告確立違反"國際人權法" ，有片圖人證多重證據
3. 情感上: 道德(宗教)人士會同情港人的"苦難"
4. Siege of Citic具故事張力，記者更易抓切入點追查跟進
建議:
文字mention
帶入國際視野?
原因:
1. 畫面明顯表達 "極權 VS 人民"
2. 法理上: Amnesty報告確立違反"國際人權法" ，有片圖人證多重證據
3. 情感上: 道德(宗教)人士會同情港人的"苦難"
4. Siege of Citic具故事張力，記者更易抓切入點追查跟進
建議:
文字mention
推
請問宜家有邊份報紙係登頭版?辛苦各位
想問澳洲搞掂未，我啱啱攞到Australian 嘅聯絡
NY巴要瞓，各位手足努力，聽朝再跟
#MakeHongKongGreatAgain 玩味重
#LiberateHK 夠貼題
why not both
#LiberateHK 夠貼題
why not both
辛苦晒
我揾外國人proofread咗
版本1
Dear New York Times Readers,
We are a group of concerned Hong Kong citizens among the two million protesters who filled the streets on June 16. We sincerely plea for your help to defend our autonomy and freedom.
Ever since the handover in 1997, China has been relentlessly imposing their flawed authoritarian rule on Hong Kong. The most recent, blatant example is the proposed “Extradition Bill” that would allow the extradition of alleged “fugitives” from Hong Kong to China. The latter is notorious for its disregard for the rule of law and human rights, and a dictatorship which routinely pressures its judges into prosecuting. In some cases, the regime executes individuals who are "dissidents" only in the eyes of the Central Government, with a judicial system whose definition of crime is murky and often subjective.
The proposed bill, once becomes law, would subject local citizens, business owners, journalists, expats, and tourists of all nationalities to arrests and trials in mainland China for alleged crimes and fabricated accusations just because one disagrees with the government. This situation will have a devastating impact on Hong Kong where international trade thrives; on the freedom of speech and religion, and on human rights – universal rights that each and every one of us is entitled.
That is why two million of us defiantly took to the streets, even after unjustifiable violence by the police against peaceful and unarmed demonstrators, who were subsequently stigmatized by the government as “rioters”. Police brutality was repeatedly evidenced by officers striking protestors with batons and firing tear gas directly at large crowds, and by officers aiming rubber bullets and beanbag rounds at the head. Although some were arrested with many more injured, our determination to safeguard what remains of our inherent rights and promised autonomy is not to be shattered.
Our demands are:
1. A complete, permanent withdrawal of the Extradition Bill
2. The unconditional release of all unfairly arrested from the protest
3. The official renouncing of previous statement which branded the June 12 rally “a riot”, and
4. The formation of an independent commission of inquiry to investigate police brutality.
Most importantly, we demand universal suffrage which enables Hong Kong Citizens to elect our leaders and to hold them accountable for their actions.
In response to the upcoming G20 Summit and the meeting between Presidents Trump and Xi, we implore you to address our pressing concerns and demands to your government. We urge you to stand with us in preserving Hong Kong’s freedom and autonomy against China’s tyranny.
Thank you.
Sincerely,
Citizens of Hong Kong
版本1
Dear New York Times Readers,
We are a group of concerned Hong Kong citizens among the two million protesters who filled the streets on June 16. We sincerely plea for your help to defend our autonomy and freedom.
Ever since the handover in 1997, China has been relentlessly imposing their flawed authoritarian rule on Hong Kong. The most recent, blatant example is the proposed “Extradition Bill” that would allow the extradition of alleged “fugitives” from Hong Kong to China. The latter is notorious for its disregard for the rule of law and human rights, and a dictatorship which routinely pressures its judges into prosecuting. In some cases, the regime executes individuals who are "dissidents" only in the eyes of the Central Government, with a judicial system whose definition of crime is murky and often subjective.
The proposed bill, once becomes law, would subject local citizens, business owners, journalists, expats, and tourists of all nationalities to arrests and trials in mainland China for alleged crimes and fabricated accusations just because one disagrees with the government. This situation will have a devastating impact on Hong Kong where international trade thrives; on the freedom of speech and religion, and on human rights – universal rights that each and every one of us is entitled.
That is why two million of us defiantly took to the streets, even after unjustifiable violence by the police against peaceful and unarmed demonstrators, who were subsequently stigmatized by the government as “rioters”. Police brutality was repeatedly evidenced by officers striking protestors with batons and firing tear gas directly at large crowds, and by officers aiming rubber bullets and beanbag rounds at the head. Although some were arrested with many more injured, our determination to safeguard what remains of our inherent rights and promised autonomy is not to be shattered.
Our demands are:
1. A complete, permanent withdrawal of the Extradition Bill
2. The unconditional release of all unfairly arrested from the protest
3. The official renouncing of previous statement which branded the June 12 rally “a riot”, and
4. The formation of an independent commission of inquiry to investigate police brutality.
Most importantly, we demand universal suffrage which enables Hong Kong Citizens to elect our leaders and to hold them accountable for their actions.
In response to the upcoming G20 Summit and the meeting between Presidents Trump and Xi, we implore you to address our pressing concerns and demands to your government. We urge you to stand with us in preserving Hong Kong’s freedom and autonomy against China’s tyranny.
Thank you.
Sincerely,
Citizens of Hong Kong
版本2
Dear New York Times Readers,
We are a group of Hong Kong citizens asking for your help.
Thanks to the United States-Hong Kong Policy Act, Hong Kong became a valuable financial partner of the US and the world. Approximately 1500 members have registered in the American Chamber of Commerce in Hong Kong. However, the Hong Kong government recently proposed an amendment on the extradition bill, allowing China to cross the border, arrest suspects and transfer to the mainland for trial. If this amendment passes, it would destroy Hong Kong's rule of law from its foundation, and the world’s bridge to Greater China Area will collapse.
Because of that, 2 million people took it to the street and showed our concerns on the amendment. However, the government responded with violence through the police force, as Amnesty International described “…police officers appear out of control, placing peaceful protesters who posed no threat in danger of serious injury.”
Chief Executive of Hong Kong later announced postponement on the amendment. However we request a complete withdrawal to free us from concerns, and the request is yet to answer.
Our demands are:
1. A complete, permanent withdrawal of the Extradition Bill
2. The unconditional release of all unfairly arrested from the protest
3. The official renouncing of previous statement which branded the June 12 rally “a riot”, and
4. The formation of an independent commission of inquiry to investigate police brutality.
Most importantly, we demand universal suffrage which enables Hong Kong Citizens to elect our leaders and to hold them accountable for their actions.
In response to the upcoming G20 Summit and the meeting between Presidents Trump and Xi, we implore you to address our pressing concerns and demands to your government. We urge you to stand with us in preserving Hong Kong’s freedom and autonomy against China’s tyranny.
Thank you.
Sincerely,
Citizens of Hong Kong
Dear New York Times Readers,
We are a group of Hong Kong citizens asking for your help.
Thanks to the United States-Hong Kong Policy Act, Hong Kong became a valuable financial partner of the US and the world. Approximately 1500 members have registered in the American Chamber of Commerce in Hong Kong. However, the Hong Kong government recently proposed an amendment on the extradition bill, allowing China to cross the border, arrest suspects and transfer to the mainland for trial. If this amendment passes, it would destroy Hong Kong's rule of law from its foundation, and the world’s bridge to Greater China Area will collapse.
Because of that, 2 million people took it to the street and showed our concerns on the amendment. However, the government responded with violence through the police force, as Amnesty International described “…police officers appear out of control, placing peaceful protesters who posed no threat in danger of serious injury.”
Chief Executive of Hong Kong later announced postponement on the amendment. However we request a complete withdrawal to free us from concerns, and the request is yet to answer.
Our demands are:
1. A complete, permanent withdrawal of the Extradition Bill
2. The unconditional release of all unfairly arrested from the protest
3. The official renouncing of previous statement which branded the June 12 rally “a riot”, and
4. The formation of an independent commission of inquiry to investigate police brutality.
Most importantly, we demand universal suffrage which enables Hong Kong Citizens to elect our leaders and to hold them accountable for their actions.
In response to the upcoming G20 Summit and the meeting between Presidents Trump and Xi, we implore you to address our pressing concerns and demands to your government. We urge you to stand with us in preserving Hong Kong’s freedom and autonomy against China’s tyranny.
Thank you.
Sincerely,
Citizens of Hong Kong
已經係 point form 果d，駛乜成 point hightlight
point form 已經係有特別，重 highlight 做乜 。。。
highlight（bold）應該係d 重要 phase／wording 上
目的係要人 1秒 望埋去就中 focus
另外個 qr code 咁整係冇用
你又唔講個 code 入面有咩睇
知唔知就算香港 地鐵／報紙／傳單 上個 qr code，hit rate 係有幾咁低 ... 同點解咁低 ...
抗爭運動本身係最貼地
依家玩得高：離離地地
point form 已經係有特別，重 highlight 做乜 。。。
highlight（bold）應該係d 重要 phase／wording 上
目的係要人 1秒 望埋去就中 focus
另外個 qr code 咁整係冇用
你又唔講個 code 入面有咩睇
知唔知就算香港 地鐵／報紙／傳單 上個 qr code，hit rate 係有幾咁低 ... 同點解咁低 ...
抗爭運動本身係最貼地
依家玩得高：離離地地
Not sure if it helps but you may want to stress on the impact on New Yorkers/ Foreign by telling them:
Foreign bankers, businessmen, and tourists like yourself can be arrested and sent to China for trials of alleged crimes and fabricated accusations under the new amendment. Hong Kong will cease to be a free economic zone, which has long served the world’s most prominent businesses.
--------
All the best, mate.
Foreign bankers, businessmen, and tourists like yourself can be arrested and sent to China for trials of alleged crimes and fabricated accusations under the new amendment. Hong Kong will cease to be a free economic zone, which has long served the world’s most prominent businesses.
--------
All the best, mate.
小小意見：
1）可唔可以擺個QR code upload 條summary嘅片/video database
一定有好多人唔知咩事,比佢地睇下200萬人嘅概念係咩同警犬啲行動都好
2）另外我覺得而家個draft 係由香港人角度出發，但我地的目的係要國際覺得關佢自己事然後企出嚟幫我地手-》要寫多少少條例同香港淪陷對國際的影響先會引起到佢地注意
（自己企係外國人角度諗，唔想人佢地睇完講句 omg it's terrible, 就掀下一版）
3） 落完ad 有無得送個online article!!? 而家啲人禁手機多！
4） 有無考慮從pr 角度出發？ 成本少啲，直接接觸編輯部，而非廣告部
利申：前pr
1）可唔可以擺個QR code upload 條summary嘅片/video database
一定有好多人唔知咩事,比佢地睇下200萬人嘅概念係咩同警犬啲行動都好
2）另外我覺得而家個draft 係由香港人角度出發，但我地的目的係要國際覺得關佢自己事然後企出嚟幫我地手-》要寫多少少條例同香港淪陷對國際的影響先會引起到佢地注意
（自己企係外國人角度諗，唔想人佢地睇完講句 omg it's terrible, 就掀下一版）
3） 落完ad 有無得送個online article!!? 而家啲人禁手機多！
4） 有無考慮從pr 角度出發？ 成本少啲，直接接觸編輯部，而非廣告部
利申：前pr
唔讚成makehongkong great again, ny times 班讀書大多anti trump, 唔好借佢口號
wsj嘅就pro trump d， 不過呢個slogan 好divisive, 可免則免
wsj嘅就pro trump d， 不過呢個slogan 好divisive, 可免則免
唔贊成makehongkong great again, ny times 班讀者大多anti trump, 唔好借佢口號#MakeHongKongGreatAgain 玩味重希望可以加一個Hashtag推
#MakeHongKongGreatAgain 又好
#LiberateHK 又好
只求有一個Hashtag
到左報紙出街日 推佢上Trending
#LiberateHK 夠貼題
why not both
wsj嘅就pro trump d， 不過呢個slogan 好divisive, 可免則免
做得好好
辛苦晒
push
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