可以啊,不過佢其實好多ideas都係一環扣一環咁,所以我好難比一個straightforward嘅答案
得到happiness嘅方式大概有二:(1)remove unhappiness同埋(2)increase happiness(本書其實冇explicitly咁分,因為佢係跟住個youth同個philospher對話嘅flow咁慢慢introduce啲ideas,個categorisation係我自己搞出嚟的)
講咗(1)先,我哋有好多唔開心嘅嘢都係因為比一件事嘅negativity影響到自己都negative埋,我諗呢個係我哋好多時都有嘅conscious/unconscious thought?
但係個philosopher/adlerian psychology就argue,冇一樣嘢係objectively negative,我哋之所以覺得佢係negative係因為我哋生活喺一個subjective world;換言之,我哋都冇辦法改變件事,但係我哋可以改變我哋嘅subjective thinking
我自己有一個application:次次有啲唔想做嘅嘢要做,我(哋)第一時間都會諗「i have to do this
」,但係如果將佢rephrase做「i get to do this
」嘅話,成個心態都會冇reluctant,同埋更加願意好好咁對待我要fulfill嘅responsibility
搭單講埋,佢呢度介紹咗一個「trauma does not exist」嘅概念(因為everything is subject to subjective interpretation),我其實睇咗幾次都唔認同
承上,我哋有時都會覺得自己inferior to others(翻咩工,家境,etc.),但係value係一樣social construct,如果你係世上唯一一人,你真係唔會理啲一百蚊紙點用,用晒嚟抺汗都唔出奇
同理,你都唔需要介意自己喺一啲objective metrics(高度,人工,etc.)below average(佢喺呢度提出「all problems are interpersonal relationship problems」)
去到(2)increase happiness,佢嘅主張係「happiness is the feeling of contribution」,但係唔係叫我哋追隨其他人嘅recognition,而係要揾一個community feeling
我依家諗到嘅例子就係好似我喺呢度打一啲長comment咁,我唔會因為心入面諗我要得到幾多幾多個正皮,然之後人哋又真係正皮比我而開心;相反,我因為係咁追post睇其他人推薦,對呢個mini讀書谷develop咗一種community feeling,知道自己可以contribute比呢度嘅書蟲而自然覺得satisfied
所以個philospher想帶出你一有community feeling,就唔會relentlessly desire人哋對你嘅認同,然後又因為人哋冇recognise你嘅effort而唔開心
承接上面仲有三個core ideas:self-acceptance,confidence in others,同埋contribution to others;但係佢呢度環環相扣同埋牽涉太多其它嘢,我好難三言兩語解釋
其實仲有好多,但係真係會水蛇春咁長
同埋我覺得未必佢成個mental model都applicable,但係你distill咗某啲再apply嘅話我覺得係可行嘅(同埋好似我之前咁講,本書prompt到你係咁諗嘢我覺得已經好唔錯)