By: Kowloon Station ibanker
Hi everyone, my name is Fong. As I write this letter, I have already left Hong Kong, my birthplace and my home for twenty plus years. To be accurate, I am no longer able to return to my home, which is thousands of kilometres away from me now.
I have with me a type of DNA that came with birth, one that would determine the rest of my life.
After school, my three friends and I watched the white smokey scene broadcasted in the news. That evening, we brought with us wet towels and gauze masks and we stood right at the frontline, tear-gassed. That moment in my life, I discovered for the first time that I shared the same DNA with many others. At the time I was only in junior high.
Ever since June 9, June 12, June 16 and all the way up till October 1, I had attended each and every event, be it large or small, basically the mainstream ones with more than a thousand bros and sis'.
Today, I still remember the 3 pm deadline on June 12, the ruined filter mask (3M model 3200) that I was wearing on August 5, while picking up tear gas canisters that ended up having me carried away by first aiders. I still remember the graffiti that I sprayed and broadcasted on the news. I also remember that night on November 18 when canisters and bullets took over the sky, I got stepped on my feet, my back and my head. I also remember this one time where we were going to have a direct confrontation with the police, and a member of my team chickened out. All of these memories are forever marked deep in my heart.
Luckily, I have always been able to get away regardless of how many canisters had hit me or how much water I'd caught in my mouth from the water canons.
But one time, I got caught. The sentence was long enough to put me behind bars that will last one-third of my life.
Afterwards, I composed myself before calling my mother, to tell her I'll be away for a while. My mother had long been worried sick about my safety. Already she had fainted and been hospitalized for a few times.
After exchanging a few words with my mom, she handed the phone to dad as she didn't want to cry on the phone.
I hardly cried in front of dad as we are both the macho kind. But the moment I heard his voice, I couldn't hold my tears anymore. He sounded loving on the phone, a big contrast to his usual self where he would sound really annoying. I kept telling dad "I am so sorry to you two" and my tears just couldn't stop running down my cheeks.
I am sorry to them, because I didn't take the time to look after them, and they worried sick about me whenever I took to the streets. More so, they worked hard to raise me up, schooling, classes and university. I hope I can make myself useful and contribute to society. But now, I suddenly tell them that I am leaving, and leaving them behind in Hong Kong.
I am most sorry to them, as I once went out protesting and didn't go home for one whole month. When I did go home, I was in trouble and needed their help. This time, I needed help again that would risk their jobs and them being arrested.
Dad, Mom, I am so sorry I've disappointed you. But I am also grateful that you had passed me a very special set of DNA when you brought me to this world.
And Grandma, who loved me much since I was a child. I am not sure if I will ever see you again and if I could touch your wrinkled hand once again.
Apart from my family, I like to apologize to my two teams. I am so sorry to you guys as I have deserted you. I am so sorry to have left you and caused you to put everything on hold. I am sorry I don't have the courage like Edward Leung and choose to stay.
(Editor's note: scroll down for part 2