i don't know what am i doing.
i don't want to do it.
none of it makes sense.
i am so mentally exhausted.
last night i dreamed of having a better work environment.
please god help me
all morning i am gasping and i want to vomit
because this is the start of the week
even during the weekend all i can think of is the stupid tasks that i've yet to finish
it's the stupid small things adding up making the entire workflow so anti-human
i feel like i'm locked in
my pain doesn't start at 9am because the pressure never truly stop
i need a way out, please
i'm on the edge of collapsing
i physically want to vomit when i look at my computer screen showing up all the tasks waiting for me
but i procrastinate, i avoid looking at them, and they're piling up
the stress just keep building up
please give me a call, tell me that i get the job
i'm physically sick and mentally exhausted
it's snowing outside
when you are in a slum it's hard to get out because your energy are trapped
so looking for a new job is extremely tough when the currently job is exhausting you
i just want to do absolutely nothing, nothing whatsoever
no more meetings, no more tasks
another meeting today, that i do not want to be in
i found myself yelling at the monitor for how stupid everything is i can hardly put into words.
it's like performing magic and hoping everything just work out fine
i don't have a way to test it
and i have to wait for days for the feedback
and get the data that i want
all while someone is pushing you to get something done
what should be done in minutes are now taking days
and i'm exhausted