國際文宣 - 英文歌詞集思廣益 !!! DGX «明天» 英文版 &MV
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C1:
When the worst time comes, everybody is chosen to decide
Whether to fight or to hide,
I then promised to myself to lend my hand to you but I lied.
What passed is past! From now I won't let the darkness cloud my heart:
「Worst time」想echo C3嘅「best time」，即係雙城記嘅「the best of the time」同「the worst of the time」；「chosen」係我哋畀時代選中嘅，即都有「chosen people」嘅image；「absolve my sins」我覺得太Christian，如果你堅持留呢個image，我建議用「cleanse my soul」；但為咗keep住「過去做錯嘢」嘅image，我轉用對自己講大話；「carve」又似乎有啲太specific，副歌我覺得文字嘅密度可以低啲，等聽眾休息下，因為AB段都已經好多畫面。
C2:
And with her souvenirs I decide to walk her path forever.
「Gifts」我覺得太specific，而且比較material；所以轉用「souvenirs」模糊一啲又有回憶嘅感覺。
C3:
When the best time comes, everybody is chosen to decide
When your dreams seem to have died.’
Echo C1，第二句順便押韻。
When the worst time comes, everybody is chosen to decide
Whether to fight or to hide,
I then promised to myself to lend my hand to you but I lied.
What passed is past! From now I won't let the darkness cloud my heart:
「Worst time」想echo C3嘅「best time」，即係雙城記嘅「the best of the time」同「the worst of the time」；「chosen」係我哋畀時代選中嘅，即都有「chosen people」嘅image；「absolve my sins」我覺得太Christian，如果你堅持留呢個image，我建議用「cleanse my soul」；但為咗keep住「過去做錯嘢」嘅image，我轉用對自己講大話；「carve」又似乎有啲太specific，副歌我覺得文字嘅密度可以低啲，等聽眾休息下，因為AB段都已經好多畫面。
C2:
And with her souvenirs I decide to walk her path forever.
「Gifts」我覺得太specific，而且比較material；所以轉用「souvenirs」模糊一啲又有回憶嘅感覺。
C3:
When the best time comes, everybody is chosen to decide
When your dreams seem to have died.’
Echo C1，第二句順便押韻。
雖然改得麻麻，但讀lit嘅終於有啲用處
推個post
好啦，我啱啱有查到有「absolve myself」嘅用法，但應該係lend my hand 之後先至absolve myself，或者你覺得兩者唔使咁重因果關係？
英文差幫唔到手
但都推一推
但都推一推
咁睇樓主想傳達嘅畫面係點啦，有時讀lit會好易受束縛，唔讀lit作嘅嘢有時反而仲正
個scansion唔係好work咁
聽返個音樂，有stress/unstress嘅限制
例如：
原本：
x / x / x / x / x /
As raindrops fall upon her silhouette
(iambic pentameter)
改：
x x / / x / x / x /
As the rain falls upon her silhouette
(??? metre)
其它好幾句都係，跟唔到個音樂需要嘅metre。
聽返個音樂，有stress/unstress嘅限制
例如：
原本：
x / x / x / x / x /
As raindrops fall upon her silhouette
(iambic pentameter)
改：
x x / / x / x / x /
As the rain falls upon her silhouette
(??? metre)
其它好幾句都係，跟唔到個音樂需要嘅metre。
Shit我只係睇咗syllable，我再改改，唔該你
Rusty sword + broken scales
生鏽嘅劍+破爛嘅天秤
個離去咗嘅女仔係法庭出面腐爛嘅Lady Justice
生鏽嘅劍+破爛嘅天秤
個離去咗嘅女仔係法庭出面腐爛嘅Lady Justice
我諗到去武器同護甲
唔該你提醒我
唔該你提醒我
一樣係scansion有少少出入，但係冇#41嗰啲咁大
原：
x / x / x / x / x /
No hiding from all those regrets of mine,
改：
x / x / x / / x x /
No hiding from all those traumas and harms,
原：
x / x / x / x / x /
No hiding from all those regrets of mine,
改：
x / x / x / / x x /
No hiding from all those traumas and harms,
多謝指教，我會繼續努力下
加油
英文詞學問:
English poetry begins with metre. Without metrical writing, the result would be prose 散文, not verse 詩詞.
The soul of the English language, to poets, is the rhythm 節奏. Rhyming 押韻 and word choice 字詞 and all other poetic devices 修辭 follow the basic rhythm of a line.
When the rhythm of each line becomes regular throughout the entire poem, that structure is called the metre, and the art of finding this regularity is called scansion (you 'scan' the lines to find the rhythmic pattern).
Take, as an example, this line:
'From time to time and for as long as it takes.'
If we take 'x' to mean an unstressed beat, and '/' to mean a stressed one, then we'll scan the line as follows:
x / x / x x x / xx /
This isn't regular, as it doesn't have a pattern, so the line is probably prose, not verse.
As a second example, see:
'He bangs the drum and makes a dreadful noise.'
'If winter comes, can Spring be far behind?'
For both lines, the stressed and unstressed beats are regular, following this pattern:
x / x / x / x / x /
Or, five sets of 'weak-strong'. In technical terms, one set of 'weak-strong' is called an 'iamb', and five in Greek is 'pente', so we call these two lines' metre 'iambic pentameter'.
In the case where the poetry needs to fit an existing piece of music, as in the job of a lyricist, the metre of each line would then have to conform with the rhythm of strong- and weak-beats already existent as implied by the melody.
by Dr. RubbishTeen
English poetry begins with metre. Without metrical writing, the result would be prose 散文, not verse 詩詞.
The soul of the English language, to poets, is the rhythm 節奏. Rhyming 押韻 and word choice 字詞 and all other poetic devices 修辭 follow the basic rhythm of a line.
When the rhythm of each line becomes regular throughout the entire poem, that structure is called the metre, and the art of finding this regularity is called scansion (you 'scan' the lines to find the rhythmic pattern).
Take, as an example, this line:
'From time to time and for as long as it takes.'
If we take 'x' to mean an unstressed beat, and '/' to mean a stressed one, then we'll scan the line as follows:
x / x / x x x / xx /
This isn't regular, as it doesn't have a pattern, so the line is probably prose, not verse.
As a second example, see:
'He bangs the drum and makes a dreadful noise.'
'If winter comes, can Spring be far behind?'
For both lines, the stressed and unstressed beats are regular, following this pattern:
x / x / x / x / x /
Or, five sets of 'weak-strong'. In technical terms, one set of 'weak-strong' is called an 'iamb', and five in Greek is 'pente', so we call these two lines' metre 'iambic pentameter'.
In the case where the poetry needs to fit an existing piece of music, as in the job of a lyricist, the metre of each line would then have to conform with the rhythm of strong- and weak-beats already existent as implied by the melody.
by Dr. RubbishTeen