(英文高手入)作左篇英文,求意見

最緊要
你寫完自己睇一次明唔明
明我話你叻

CY Leung claimed that each family more or less only needs to wait for around 3 years for the public housing estate, but the newest latest public housing waiting list unveiled last week points out that the average waiting time of the public housing estate for each family is 4.5 years, which is far more than what CY Leung claimed. The government doesn't provide the renting subsidy to the disadvantages since the authority don’t want to obstruct the residential property market and Hong Kong government advocates “Big market, small government ”,. Therefore, it is inevitable that the low-income group will force make do with the subdivided flats inside the industrial building.

To me, I think the government should legalize the subdivided flats and allow some business operate inside the industrial building. To prevent the tragedy stage again, the authority should do the spot checks more often, to make sure all the subdivided flats, shops are obeying the safety rules and have enough fireworks fire service equipment at each floor. Also, the government should make sure the industrial building is accord with Buildings Ordinance that is stipulated by related bureau.

The aforementioned is are only the short-run methods,. What the government should do is to boost the supply of public housing estate and consider to provide some renting subsidies to reduce public housing waiting list.

Even though the city becomes more prosperous, that GDP per capita in 2016 is more than $40000 USD, there is still a part of the citizens living in such subdivided houses and face monetary predicament. it is absurdity and lamentable. I hope the government should tackle this absurd and lamentable issue at once and don’t let this issue become deteriorate.

有d唔識改 可能有改錯求指證
利申: 不是英文高手, 想俾吓意見同一齊討論

好多巴打都好有心機真係幫佢改

臨訓前望望 只睇左少少 未必改得岩 戴戴頭盔先

Due to the space constraints and soaring rent, some business move+d into the industrial building+s. There is a table tennis training school which was is located in Tai Wai are is being sued used by the authority of breaching the land law and safety (?) We may think Law is the law, all of us need to have to obey the law, but don’t forget this the training school has trained （about）300 table tennis players and . Some of them have represented Hong Kong to take part in some national competitions. Moreover, our government always advocate+s （？）the sport development and craving craves for the talented athletes. At the end of the day, this training school is benefiticail beneficial to our society and it deserves +for more resources spared prosecution.

CY Leung claim +ed that each family more or less only need to have to wait for 3 years for the public housing estate

解錯啦....

A fatal blaze at a subdivided flat on last Saturday was provoked an extensive debate whether or not to legalize the subdivided flat in industrial building and allow some business operate in the industrial building.

A, An, The嘅用法有好大分別。A, An用起非指定、之前內容冇講過嘅嘢，例如文中嘅A fatal blaze，因為起再之前冇指定過邊一場大火，所以要用A。

相反，The用起指定、已經講過嘅嘢度，或者係眾所周知唯一嘅存在，例如The Sun, The Earth。如果文中係想講工業大廈嚟個種類而唔係指定某一棟大廈嘅話，就應該唔加The。

Due to the space constraints and soaring rent, some business move into the industrial building. There is a table tennis training school which was located in Tai Wai are being sued by the authority of breaching the land law and safety rules. We may think Law is the law, all of us need to obey the law, but don’t forget this training school has been trained 300 table tennis players and some of them even represent Hong Kong to take part in some national competitions. Moreover, our government always advocate the sport development and craving for the talented athletes. At the end of the day, this training school is beneficial to our society and it deserves spared prosecution.

Space constraint係一個概念，就算話有得數一呎兩呎，佢都唔係實物而只係一個概念，個字本身應該係Uncountable。如果唔係有多個標準嘅話就唔太應該加s。

Move前面嘅business係一個單數名詞，所以理論上應該用moves，
但係從語境上，用moved、had moved、had been moved會更貼切成句嘅意思。

Don't嚟類嘅縮寫適合非正式、日常嘅書寫。但係如果寫正式、公開、比較正經嘅嘢，就應該用返全寫Do not。

CY Leung claims each family more or less only need to wait for 3 years for the public housing estate, but the newest public housing waiting list unveiled last week point out that the average waiting time of the public housing estate for each family is 4.5 years, which is far more than what CY Leung claim. The government doesn't provide the renting subsidy to the disadvantages since the authority don’t want to obstruct the residential property market and Hong Kong government advocates “Big market, small government ”, it is inevitable that the low-income group will force the subdivided flats inside the industrial building.

What CY Leung claim可以用claims或者claimed.

...provide renting subsidy to the disadvantages since...嚟句，我對disadvantages嘅理解應該係受害嘅人？咁嘅話用sufferer或者victim應該會比較好。

...the low-income group will force the subdivided flats inside...嚟度講咗低收入群強逼工廠大廈入面嘅劏房...做咩呢？

CY Leung claims each family more or less only need to wait for 3 years for the public housing estate, but the newest public housing waiting list unveiled last week point out that the average waiting time of the public housing estate for each family is 4.5 years, which is far more than what CY Leung claim. The government doesn't provide the renting subsidy to the disadvantages since the authority don’t want to obstruct the residential property market and Hong Kong government advocates “Big market, small government ”, it is inevitable that the low-income group will force the subdivided flats inside the industrial building.

What CY Leung claim可以用claims或者claimed.

...provide renting subsidy to the disadvantages since...嚟句，我對disadvantages嘅理解應該係受害嘅人？咁嘅話用sufferer或者victim應該會比較好。

...the low-income group will force the subdivided flats inside...嚟度講咗低收入群強逼工廠大廈入面嘅劏房...做咩呢？

To me, I think the government should legalize the subdivided flats and allow some business operate in the industrial building. To prevent the tragedy stage again, the authority should do the spot checks more often, make sure all the subdivided flats, shops are obeying the safety rules and have enough fireworks equipment in each floor, also the government should make sure the industrial building is according to Buildings Ordinance the that stipulated by related bureau.

Inside嘅主語(subject)應該係一件物件，存在起一個空間入面。
嚟度講business operate應該用返in。

...should do the spot checks more often, 改成should have spot checks會比較好。

Firework係煙花……

...at each floor文法上係錯嘅，因為at係用起指定嘅一個地點，如果係想講每層就應該用in。

The aforementioned is only a short-run methods, what the government should do is to boost the supply of public housing estate and consider to provide some renting subsidy to reduce public housing waiting list.

The aforementioned is only the short-run methods嚟句，因為前面用is定義咗係單數，而後面method用咗the代表即係上面嘅堆嘢，所以後面都應該跟返單數。

Even though the city becomes more prosperous, GDP per capital in 2016 is more than $40,000 USD, there is still a part of the citizen living in such subdivided houses and face predicament, it is absurdity and lamentable. I hope the government should tackle this issue at once and don’t let this issue become deteriorating.

I hope the government should...我希望政府應該？有語病。可以改成I hope the government can...

最後this issue可以用代詞it代替咗佢，唔洗下下重複咁累贅。

好老實講，樓主英文一般
呢個情況下盡量用簡單短句
長句表達嘅野只不過係幾句短句加埋
咁點解唔分幾句而避免grammar錯呢

同埋He/she/it要加s，plural要加s呢啲返check一次啦
唔可能再錯

A fatal blaze at a subdivided flat on last Saturday was provoked an extensive debate whether or not to legalize the subdivided flat in industrial building and allow some business operate in the industrial building.

點解係was provoked 唔係
had provoked/has provoked/ provoked
was provoked 個意思唔係相反左咩
乜唔係講緊provoke左個debate
was provoke咪係provoke左個blaze

利申純討論
英文廢柴無覺得自己一定啱

The fatal blaze at a subdivided flat on last Saturday provoked an extensive debate whether or not to on regulating legalize the subdivided flats and commercial activities in the industrial buildings. and allow some business operate in the industrial building.

Due to the space constraints limited flat supplies and the soaring rent, some businesses moved into (parasitise in) the industrial building.

A fatal blaze at a subdivided flat on last Saturday was provoked an extensive debate whether or not to legalize the subdivided flat in industrial building and allow some business operate in the industrial building.

點解係was provoked 唔係
had provoked/has provoked/ provoked
was provoked 個意思唔係相反左咩
乜唔係講緊provoke左個debate
was provoke咪係provoke左個blaze

利申純討論
英文廢柴無覺得自己一定啱

佢個2個回覆我有部份都唔太認同

To prevent the tragedy stage again, the authority should do the spot checks more often,

Stage係有預謀, 用happen都足夠

Should do spot checks -> should inspect

To prevent the tragedy stage again, the authority should do the spot checks more often,

Stage係有預謀, 用happen都足夠

Should do spot checks -> should inspect

俾我會就咁to prevent the tragedy
不過我個人覺得spot check 同inspection 意思不太一樣

臨訓前望望 只睇左少少 未必改得岩 戴戴頭盔先

Due to the space constraints and soaring rent, some business move+d into the industrial building+s. There is a table tennis training school which was is located in Tai Wai are is being sued used by the authority of breaching the land law and safety (?) We may think Law is the law, all of us need to have to obey the law, but don’t forget this the training school has trained （about）300 table tennis players and . Some of them have represented Hong Kong to take part in some national competitions. Moreover, our government always advocate+s （？）the sport development and craving craves for the talented athletes. At the end of the day, this training school is benefiticail beneficial to our society and it deserves +for more resources spared prosecution.

CY Leung claim +ed that each family more or less only need to have to wait for 3 years for the public housing estate

改一段仔算，好長，篇野直程要大改，利申：英文AL B

Due to insufficient land supplies and rent inflation, more and more commercial offices have moved into the industrial district so as for rent deduction. Recently, a school of table tennis located in Tai Wai was accused of breach of the law by authority. We understood that the law have to be obeyed, we, on the other hands, should take the contribution of the school that 300 players has been well-trained into consideration as well.

A fatal blaze at a subdivided flat on last Saturday was provoked an extensive debate whether or not to legalize the subdivided flat in industrial building and allow some business operate in the industrial building.

點解係was provoked 唔係
had provoked/has provoked/ provoked
was provoked 個意思唔係相反左咩
乜唔係講緊provoke左個debate
was provoke咪係provoke左個blaze

利申純討論
英文廢柴無覺得自己一定啱

因為provoke嚟個字本身係解“招惹”，
如果用主動句就會邊做“場大火去招惹議論”，
所以用被動式“場大火惹來議論”。

has provoked係以前有議論，依家冇咗。
had provoked就係依家都有，都可以用。

A fatal blaze at a subdivided flat on last Saturday was provoked an extensive debate whether or not to legalize the subdivided flat in industrial building and allow some business operate in the industrial building.

點解係was provoked 唔係
had provoked/has provoked/ provoked
was provoked 個意思唔係相反左咩
乜唔係講緊provoke左個debate
was provoke咪係provoke左個blaze

利申純討論
英文廢柴無覺得自己一定啱

因為provoke嚟個字本身係解“招惹”，
如果用主動句就會邊做“場大火去招惹議論”，
所以用被動式“場大火惹來議論”。

has provoked係以前有議論，依家冇咗。
had provoked就係依家都有，都可以用。

https://hk.dictionary.yahoo.com/dictionary?p=provoke

引起; 激起
his new book has provoked a great deal of controversy 他的新書引起了很大的爭議

就咁睇字典又唔係喎

(真心討論)

A fatal blaze at a subdivided flat on last Saturday was provoked an extensive debate whether or not to legalize the subdivided flat in industrial building and allow some business operate in the industrial building.

點解係was provoked 唔係
had provoked/has provoked/ provoked
was provoked 個意思唔係相反左咩
乜唔係講緊provoke左個debate
was provoke咪係provoke左個blaze

利申純討論
英文廢柴無覺得自己一定啱

因為provoke嚟個字本身係解“招惹”，
如果用主動句就會邊做“場大火去招惹議論”，
所以用被動式“場大火惹來議論”。

has provoked係以前有議論，依家冇咗。
had provoked就係依家都有，都可以用。

多謝巴打先,認真,巴打可唔可以留個tg,真心有野仲想請教

多謝巴打先,認真,巴打可唔可以留個tg,真心有野仲想請教

https://t.me/kurokinonenon

Last sat 無轉tense已經唔想睇落去

To prevent the tragedy stage again, the authority should do the spot checks more often,

Stage係有預謀, 用happen都足夠

Should do spot checks -> should inspect

俾我會就咁to prevent the tragedy
不過我個人覺得spot check 同inspection 意思不太一樣

我自己會咁寫:
to prevent the reoccurrence of tragedy

因為重點係 "再次"


另外, 由於係去某特定地點, 所以應該用巡查 (inspection), 而抽查(spot-checks)我個人覺得無咁合適

如果想加上spot 既意思, 可以用random inspection

A fatal blaze at a subdivided flat on last Saturday was provoked an extensive debate whether or not to legalize the subdivided flat in industrial building and allow some business operate in the industrial building.

點解係was provoked 唔係
had provoked/has provoked/ provoked
was provoked 個意思唔係相反左咩
乜唔係講緊provoke左個debate
was provoke咪係provoke左個blaze

利申純討論
英文廢柴無覺得自己一定啱

因為provoke嚟個字本身係解“招惹”，
如果用主動句就會邊做“場大火去招惹議論”，
所以用被動式“場大火惹來議論”。

has provoked係以前有議論，依家冇咗。
had provoked就係依家都有，都可以用。

本身唔打算留言
但你連最基本既tense都錯左
樓主呢個情況一定係用present perfect (more preferred) / simple past tense (less preferred)
但絕對唔會用past perfect
Past perfect係比較兩件過去事件既先後次序
Present perfect係講緊一件係過去發生但依然影響現在既事
如果對現在無影響就應該用simple past

To prevent the tragedy stage again, the authority should do the spot checks more often,

Stage係有預謀, 用happen都足夠

Should do spot checks -> should inspect

俾我會就咁to prevent the tragedy
不過我個人覺得spot check 同inspection 意思不太一樣

我自己會咁寫:
to prevent the reoccurrence of tragedy

因為重點係 "再次"


另外, 由於係去某特定地點, 所以應該用巡查 (inspection), 而抽查(spot-checks)我個人覺得無咁合適

如果想加上spot 既意思, 可以用random inspection

如果講方法嚟講我諗係要random check 先有效
我估作者都係咁既意思掛
不過當然呢個唔係重點
都係討論下姐

A fatal blaze at a subdivided flat on last Saturday was provoked an extensive debate whether or not to legalize the subdivided flat in industrial building and allow some business operate in the industrial building.

點解係was provoked 唔係
had provoked/has provoked/ provoked
was provoked 個意思唔係相反左咩
乜唔係講緊provoke左個debate
was provoke咪係provoke左個blaze

利申純討論
英文廢柴無覺得自己一定啱

因為provoke嚟個字本身係解“招惹”，
如果用主動句就會邊做“場大火去招惹議論”，
所以用被動式“場大火惹來議論”。

has provoked係以前有議論，依家冇咗。
had provoked就係依家都有，都可以用。

其實我都幾肯定佢意思就係
場大火招惹/引起了議論

To prevent the tragedy stage again, the authority should do the spot checks more often,

Stage係有預謀, 用happen都足夠

Should do spot checks -> should inspect

俾我會就咁to prevent the tragedy
不過我個人覺得spot check 同inspection 意思不太一樣

我自己會咁寫:
to prevent the reoccurrence of tragedy

因為重點係 "再次"


另外, 由於係去某特定地點, 所以應該用巡查 (inspection), 而抽查(spot-checks)我個人覺得無咁合適

如果想加上spot 既意思, 可以用random inspection

如果講方法嚟講我諗係要random check 先有效
我估作者都係咁既意思掛
不過當然呢個唔係重點
都係討論下姐

http://www.hkfsd.gov.hk/eng/org/fs_cmd.html

Building Improvement Division 3
7/F, North Wing, Fire Services Headquarters Building,
1 Hong Chong Road, Tsim Sha Tsui East, Kowloon.

6/F, Fire Services Department Mongkok Office Building,
42 Tai Kok Tsui Road, Kowloon.


Senior Divisional Officer
Tel: 2170 9625
Conduct proactive inspections of industrial buildings and old composite buildings across the territory and take enforcement actions against irregularities identified.
Handle building fire safety complaints, except complaints about licensed premises and dangerous goods, and conduct related inspections.


FSD都係用inspection

如果passive voice
應該係
the debate was provoked by the fatal blaze
你前後調轉左喎