我覺得colm嗰種係害怕被遺忘嘅孤獨
音樂只係其中一個媒介令佢可以留啲嘢喺呢個世界度
與其話呢個係佢認為對於人生價值嘅體現,不如話呢個係佢唯一可以做到嘅事
I do worry sometimes I might just be entertaining myself while staving off the inevitable.
因為成套戲入面我都覺得佢好迷茫,佢會去海邊contemplate,佢會同神父告解,但係都冇人俾到個答案佢
That's what I was thinking, that he's depressed. Well, if he is, he could at least keep it to himself like. You know, push it down, like the rest of us.
佢只係當絕望感湧上嚟嘅時候去做啲嘢壓返佢落去,開始咗寫歌之後好咗啲,但係隻驢死咗之後又差返,呢種絕望感都好似不治之症咁時不時重現
所以我覺得佢應該有生之年都唔會得到佢口中所講嘅inner peace
colm對於死亡嘅睇法係直率好多,佢有時係唔知點樣去面對,但係佢從來冇逃避過
佢對自己嘅定位唔係生物定義上嘅「我」,而係相對於乜嘢而言嘅「我」,例如相對於呢個世界嚟講佢只係一粒冇存在過嘅塵
男主角就冇辦法,因為佢係當所有嘢都冇晒之後先被迫去面對呢個問題
佢之前一直都唔需要,亦都唔想去面對呢個問題
仲笑啲人無神神話自己孤獨係咪發神經,colm一定係有抑鬱先會神經失常變臉唔認人
就好似現實入面嗰啲只選擇去睇到呢個世界好嗰一面嘅人,如果突然間你迫佢去睇唔好嗰一面,就等如信仰,甚至係成個世界觀崩塌一樣咁destructive
佢成個煩膠咁就算colm已經切咗第一隻手指都仲想挽救友情就係其中一個佐證,因為呢個世界喺佢眼中應該要美好,好朋友應該要一直都係好朋友,呢個信仰/世界觀唔可以崩塌
所以佢之後嘅心理轉變都可以理解
初頭覺得佢固執到一個荒謬嘅地步,後尾諗返可能呢個就係佢自己掙扎嘅方式