Avoidants often have a subconscious fear of intimacy. This is a core wound that stems from emotional neglect in childhood. They have many defense mechanisms against emotional pain.
When this core wound is triggered, avoidants will create physical and emotional distance from the partner. For example, they do it via criticism, flaw-finding, stonewalling, withholding affection, etc.
Most avoidants cannot stay in any long-term relationship due to this fear of intimacy. When the trigger is strong enough, they usually lose touch with their feelings and proceed to breakup with the partner.
The cycle repeats over and over again. Avoidants can never find the right person. Fantasizing about an ex from the past is often a subconscious strategy for avoidants to create emotional distance from the current partner. They push away the current partner by comparing them to any ex from the past.
神祕的分析師2024-07-22 19:54:50
Because the relationship is often ended before the flaws of the old partner could be fully realized due to either reason:
1. The partner getting tired of the avoidant's patterns.
2. The avoidant ruining it through self-destructive thoughts and behaviors.
In that sense, the old partner could seem perfect to the avoidant. No one could match up to that old partner. The current partner gets push away constantly when the avoidant compares them to the old partner. This is a way for avoidants to create emotional distance away from the current partner
占士·Blunt2024-07-22 19:55:48
可唔可以用不推文覆 唔想個Post又再推上去
神祕的分析師2024-07-22 19:58:24
是但啦
占士·Blunt2024-07-22 20:00:55
神祕的分析師2024-07-22 20:04:35
唔一定個個avoidant都會有phantom ex,要睇嚴重程度同埋上一段關係點樣完結
占士·Blunt2024-07-22 20:06:42
占士·Blunt2024-07-22 20:10:43
神祕的分析師2024-07-22 20:10:54
好多avoidants都會offer friendship after the breakup
點解對方會接受到架?
占士·Blunt2024-07-22 20:12:15
神祕的分析師2024-07-22 20:13:16
親職化 -> 好鍾意幫人 -> codependency
佢細個已經要付起好多大人嘅責任?
占士·Blunt2024-07-22 20:18:06
神祕的分析師2024-07-22 20:21:47
自欺欺人,其他野無同你講,完美主意嘅起源係因為潛意識覺得自己唔值得愛
拒絕其他人嘅幫助,因為fear of losing independence/self。童年被忽略,所以要靠自己