英文作文2022 DSE Q2 屌得大力d

Script 2022 DSE Part B Question 2



The new generation YouTubers personally teaches you how to become successful in life



Have you ever wondered why YouTube platform is so commonly used? Perhaps the phenomenon is fueled by the advance of technology. In recent years, video platforms are becoming increasingly commonplace. It is not unusual to see people watch various videos and subscribe to video creators whom they like. Moreover, a rise in the phenomenon of teenagers rushing to join the occupation demonstrated YouTubers’ increasing popularity. Many adolescents quitted their original jobs to become a YouTuber. Therefore, some worried that youngsters becoming YouTuber will probably prevent their development in the future. Despite various polarized comments from the general public, as the host of a channel on YouTube, I started “Teen Chat”, a YouTube gamer channel, through topics for adolescents in this gripping game named “Genshin Impact”, I will talk about different issues of various domains from a teenager’s perspectives. Therefore, from my experiences, I am qualified to point out that youngsters being YouTubers will have more benefits. This article will illustrate how I started this channel in my interest and my motto. I have

valuable experiences from two perspectives: personal abilities and relationships with people.



Firstly, the reasons why I started this channel? You should know that teenagers face pressure in academic work, it is not easy for them to have time to play games. My interest and the goal: playing games is my hobby, the principal cause is I can have the freedom to discover the game world and look around picturesque scenery. My YouTube channel is not just about playing the video game, but also about building a close-knit community with adolescents. As a “Genshin Impact” professional gamer, I would share the strategies of this game with other spectators. For example, I would teach youngsters how to match themselves with the game role, find solutions to puzzles and collect materials to advance to up-level roles. My aim is to provide useful information for adolescents who are beginner in this game. Why I help them? I was noob when I started this game. “Genshin Impact” is a A-RPG and you can play in PC and MOBILE. Once, I wanted masters to extend a helping hand, but I got left out in the cold. Therefore, I hope that I will be able to provide pretty experiences of this game to teenagers who are ostracized by professional gamers. Furthermore, I enjoyed sharing with youngsters in the process. The underlying root cause is that I enjoy helping teenagers on my channel and chit-chat with them for it would give me more sense of achievement and acknowledgment.

喺連登叫人睇文夠膽提《原神》你係咪博屌

雖然你都有用唔同字眼，係language 呢part 都會有加分。

但你用既句式結構太單一。不斷用反問句黎做開頭，呢個會扣分。呢條topic 屬於議論文，需要用professional tone.

應該用直述句而唔係反問句

另外，你用太多逗號將唔同既simple sentence 砌埋一齊。但其實需要用complex sentence 先會高分。而complex sentence 入邊再係需要既情況下用埋compound sentence, 咁就會再升lv.

所以其實唔係你放幾多vocab 入去就會高分。

第三，你d topic sentence 同summary 好差，而且亦概括唔到成段。而summary 係要最後落小總結或者implications.

其實你英文vocab 既然可以寫到咁多野，應該著眼點樣表達得更似識寫作，好似我上邊講果d 咁。

minors: 竟然有小量mistakes, 例如漏s. 一定要做完check 清楚呢d careless mistakes

仲有，條topic 問how to become successful in life

你就去講點玩原神
根本有離題既嫌疑
除非你認為你寫既野convince 到markers 玩原神可以become successful in life.

但好明顯，你d 內容無做到呢一點

仲有d 連接詞，therefore, furthermore 之類亂咁用

點會therefore 之後仲有furthermore

你呢個lv 頂多只到lv 4

太多樓主呢種考生，只係識不斷放vocab 入去，但忽略基本sentence structure 同埋想表達既意思unclear

多到好煩
呢D一睇就知係罐頭句子 應該係要學下幾時用而唔係亂鳩咁用
好多都係用左中文思維寫英文 用字可以再精準D
俾盡LV3

lv3 又harsh d

不過的確要睇markers 覺得佢content 有無離題，有既話係可以lv3

language 黎講應該都有lv4
organization 可能都係3~4左右

其實佢似乎識用好多字，表達意思大部分都睇得明
但明係唔夠，表達既野離題，重點唔特出。太多句子遊花園，姐係結構差。

改到既話有機會上5既

The essay is well written and presents a clear message. The writer has a clear motivation for starting a YouTube channel and effectively conveys the reasons behind their decision. The writer also mentions the benefits they have experienced in both personal abilities and relationships with others through their channel. The focus on building a community with adolescents and helping them with a video game is a unique aspect of the channel and sets it apart from others.

However, there could be room for improvement in terms of structure and organization. The introduction could benefit from being more focused and clear in stating the main point of the essay. Additionally, the essay could use clearer transitions between paragraphs and a more organized structure to make the argument easier to follow.

Overall, the essay effectively communicates the writer's personal experiences and perspectives, but could benefit from additional refinement in structure and organization.

就算用中文諗嘢都嫌佢啲詞句累贅
好多句都可以幾隻字simplify

ai好波

其實老老實實，啲英文真係好唔自然。不過都算，反正大部份學生都係為咗高啲分，好多時候弄巧反拙整到篇文奇奇怪怪。

最大問題係撇開文化唔講，本身篇文嘅內容其實都乏善可陳，情願你用啲比較簡單易用嘅句子，花多啲心思去諗一篇好啲嘅文章，起碼叫做整體睇得落流暢，呢個係第一步。

之後慢慢諗吓點樣將啲簡單嘅英文換成一啲符合考試程度嘅同義詞，如果唔係太熟悉嗰個詞語嘅不妨上網睇吓多啲例句，感受一下嗰個詞語嘅語境。

同埋上面都有人講咗，寫呢類型文章其實更需要行文清晰，論點、論證、結論等等，應該要清晰簡潔，同時亦都需要配合適當嘅語調。

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