IELTS writing 求 comments

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2017-04-16 13:19:28
目標aim 7
唔該巴打俾d comments thanksssssss



In some countries older people are being encouraged to work longer and not to retire. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of working beyond retirement age.

To mitigate the problems of an ageing population and a shrinking workforce, some countries have been promoting an idea of delayed retirement. With more retirees staying in the labour market, the problem of brain-drain may be addressed. Yet, it also makes the social ladder more difficult for young people to climb and impedes social progress.

Many countries have been extending statutory retirement age so that productivity would not be affected by a shrinking workforce. For instance, the Hong Kong government has been taking the lead to extend the retirement age of its civil servants from 60 to 65 in the hope that the private sector will follow suit. Admittedly, such policy would help some industries plagued with labour shortage. For example, the health service industry, which lacks a large number of doctors and nurses because of an ageing population, would no doubt benefit from such policy if more experienced practitioners prolong their career. Moreover, delayed retirement would also facilitate the process of knowledge transfer as older people would have more time to ensure their successors to learn what they should learn.

On the other hand, an increased retirement age would hinder social mobility and perhaps social improvements. Old people usually dominate managerial positions, especially in high-skilled industries, because they are often more experienced and knowledgeable about the job. If they delay their retirement, it would be hard for young talent to move upwards as there would be fewer opportunities for them. Moreover, generally speaking, older people are believed to be more conservative, stubborn, and opposed to any significant reforms. As such, innovation and technology advancement, which are beneficial to society as a whole, may be curbed if they do not step aside from the decision-making position.

In sum, working beyond retirement age would solve the problem of labour shortage. Yet, in long term, it would be detrimental to young people and may even suppress social progress.
2017-04-16 13:35:39
band 5 左右
2017-04-16 13:42:40


In some countries older people are being encouraged to work longer and not to retire. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of working beyond retirement age.

To mitigate the problems of an ageing population

population ageing

and a shrinking workforce, some countries have been promoting an idea of delayed retirement.

extending retirement age

With more retirees staying in the labour market,

With more labour force staying in the market

retirees 但又staying in the market ?

the problem of brain-drain may be addressed. Yet,


it also makes the social ladder more difficult for young people to climb and impedes social
progress.
呢段乜鬼黎
2017-04-16 14:17:49
band 5 左右

agree
2017-04-16 23:55:19
5.5
2017-04-17 01:08:38
band 5 左右


不至於Band 5咁差既
應該都有Band 6, 不過Band 7 就

其實個內容上好有問題, 好似呢段 "Moreover, delayed retirement would also facilitate the process of knowledge transfer as older people would have more time to ensure their successors to learn what they should learn." 根本完全荒謬
2021-07-15 12:44:52
2022-01-16 13:32:57
會然編號又好點都好 要鬥嘅 ielts贏撚咗你啦
英文廢撚到咁你真係唔好做人
2022-02-26 13:58:10
樓主咁柒 冇理由唔入嚟笑下
2022-02-26 13:59:51
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