我,馮老蛋,係呢度悲痛欲絕咁宣佈⋯
我女朋友
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訓撚左!
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所以我要係度大大聲講!
所有推post者,你地嘅陰謀已經失撚敗左!!fa撚il左!!
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但係⋯
呢篇並唔係嚟撩是鬥非的聲討文
而係馮老兄的懺悔文
係,你無睇錯,我無講錯
有興趣睇嘅先碌落來,因為長文,thanks!
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昨日出完嘅屎post
反響好大,亦正如我嘅怒火
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星星之火足以燎原
豬女友wtsapp問「咁聽日仲見不見」
我是旦搵左個理由推鳩左佢
話同四劍俠去打波
其實因為心始終有d唔開心
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於是上左成日連登
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當你地班pk都笑鳩佢
我個心真係涼一涼
話件事假嗰d,人生如戲
人要面,樹要皮
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點都無可能將張屎sd俾fd睇掛?
就算Sd完,相信回覆都係中出即飛啦!
到左夜晚,由於群情已經失控
開始有小小擔心女朋友知左會點
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雖然唔開心都未至於要分手解決嘅
於是一朝早已經直踩佢屋企
去到開門嘈醒左佢
佢即時彈左起身去左化妝
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由包租婆咁款變返做正常人
正當我想問今日去邊好
佢搶閘「bb豬,今日留係屋企,好唔好?」
下,留係屋企,咁你化左成個鐘妝?
唉,女人,唔明乜撚野構造
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女朋友大人:「等陣話你知~」
然後就入左廚房,我開始明白⋯
應該又要製造生化武器
而我就係嗰件(小鮮肉)犧牲品
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咁ok啦
因為我今日嘅任務係mark實佢部電話
幫佢del app同block左個網
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睇返history,佢只係睇左結婚結到咁系列
證明我都仲係safe
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睇左陣電視之後恰左陣
再打左陣機、再睇下馬仔再恰左陣
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女朋友拍醒我話食得
我由梳化行去枱度
嘩,乜撚野嚟架?你整架?
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佢keep住狗公咁嘅樣甜笑話係~
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嘩
其實有諗過佢係咪叫外賣
由細到大,都好想有個煮野食好叻的老婆
所以見到3碟野其實有小小暗爽
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可能有人問飯呢?Sor,我係唔會咁無義氣同你講,有人無㩒制,所以無飯食
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食飯中途佢話:「星期五要返工預備唔切,昨日你又發脾氣,今日補返數OK~?笑返啦
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食完之後,佢仲起埋個甜品
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佢話呢味叫葡撻
老老豆豆,其實我未見過人葡撻係咁款
但你話咩就咩啦下
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雖然大家唔好俾佢個樣呃左
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話唔好俾錢佢上堂個d
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其實之後仲收到份禮物,係印左我個樣嘅公仔(哪來的idea
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好,原諒你啦!
有一刻,我真係有少少後悔再加10萬個祈禱,佢千祈唔好睇到個post,同希望推post班冚家拎死撚曬佢
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後記
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雖然上個post好多人鬧佢極品女友,唔好放條妖孽出嚟為害人間
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但係你信唔信都好,佢係同我一齊咁多女人中,最單純的一個,當初係東京執佢返來,到追左佢好耐(後話),由最初好有神秘感到最後的中伏感
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由於佢老豆老母去曬旅行
我係佢屋企陪到佢瞓左先返家⋯
係屋企過左個冷河
覺得自己咁做好似衝動同過份左少少
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依家懇求各位巴打可以出謀獻策
令上一個post唔好流出連登
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(同時為左答謝大家
昨日嘅陪伴同開解
本人會送出女友鮮製朱古力味屎一條
現誠邀勇者試食,名額得一
條件係要show到你真食!
記得找數,先到先得!
歡迎大家一蚊跟機!)